Boston, you're my home...

It’s probably no surprise to anyone that visits this blog, but our family is moving to Hawaii… in less than 72 hours now. I’ve avoided blogging about it for the last five weeks that we’ve officially known, because I’ve been extremely busy with all the preparations, but mostly, I’ve been too sad to sit down and write about it. Maybe that sounded wrong- I’m not sad at all to be moving to Hawaii. It’s a great move for our family. James is really excited about the new job at BYUH, we get to live near extended family for the first time, and you really can’t beat the scenery, beaches, weather and outdoor activities in Hawaii. I’m not complaining at all. I know it’s really lucky to have found a job there without even really looking; especially one takes care of the move, but despite all of these things… I’m leaving Boston. And that what is making me so sad this week (and making me sob audibly while watching ‘Fox and the Hound’ with Louis, I’m turning into such a sap). There are several things that make me sad about leaving. Below is just a recap of some of the biggest ones.

I find myself trying to psych myself up for the move by repeating phrases like ‘you’ll make new friends’ or ‘you don’t need friends to be happy’, but that’s really not the point, is it? I’m going to miss the friends I’ve made here, that in the absence of family have become like family. I will always miss these people that have been there for me and my family through school, miscarriage, surgeries, broken down cars*, house buying, babies, potty training and all that life brings. They have shown me how to do new things. They have circled my children with love and acceptance and let me come over in stained pants and t-shirts. They have listened to me complain, laughed at bad jokes and shared play dates, holidays and sacred family moments.They talk to me about the Gospel and housecleaning and have challenged and expanded the way I think. I honestly cannot fathom replacing them with better. I feel like my close girlfriends here have really taught me what it means to be a woman and a mother.

*Did you know I got 4 flat tires in one year, 3 in places that were not near my house with hungry, screaming children inside and two resulting in a car tow- totally not fair!

I am going to miss our house. It’s really not much to look at, just a white, three store little town house that is only 950 square feet with a tiny front and back yard, but I have loved it since the moment we bought it. I loved it when it was just James and I and a sledge hammer, banging out a wall for renovations on the day we closed. We (probably should be more like James) pretty much remodeled and redid the entire house, from an entire redo of the kitchen from the studs up to finishing the basement portion. I loved it when we got to turn our office into a little nursery, and brought home a tiny, sleeping Louis into the living room. I loved it when we cooked together in the eat-in kitchen and made countless mistakes at the stove. I loved its pull down attic, the desk we built under the stairs and the tiny yard I planted a pathetic garden in every year. I have countless pictures of our kids against the living room’s hardwood floor, the grey bedroom walls, and the scratched up kitchen table. I know that objects do not have feelings, but I can’t help think that the house might miss us a little too.

I will miss Boston. For close to four years I went to the city every weekday for school and then work. I loved the walk from the T to my office, down cobblestone sidewalks and past beautiful brownstones in the South End and my short walk through the hospital to school. We have many memories of plays at the Boston Opera house, meals at interesting and varied restaurants (those were pre-kid days!), and countless times on the Freedom Trail. I have gotten stuck on the T once for over 3 hours when someone who shot at a bus ran into the subway tunnels during rush hour. James and I once spent over two hours trying to get out of the city when there was a fire on the green line. No shuttles were running yet and every taxi in the city was full- we walked from Wang Theater to the North End and then south again trying to hail a cab, all in terrible heels, yet that was one of my favorite nights. I will miss the museums, the Big Dig, concerts at the Hatch and picking up vegetables and fruit at Haymarket. And how could I forget- I will definitely miss the Red Sox. Having never had a team before and having them win the World Series the first year we moved here, we could not help but become loyal fans. I have loved this city and its mix of rugged New Englanders with recent immigrants and young professional transplants from all over the country.

I am crazy about the church ward we attend here. It is so diverse and different. People there have served us so much, in so many different ways. I loved working with the youth and watching them grow and blossom into such beautiful girls and I loved working with the kids and learning how to navigate their crazy energy. I loved watching people’s lives change as they started to come to Church and follow Christ. I felt it was a restart for my own spiritual growth every time I witnessed someone embracing Christ for the first time. I couldn’t help but cry as we left on Sunday watching building that I loved get smaller in my rearview mirror. It has been a wonderful place for me to worship and grow closer to God.

This has been my home for almost seven years and I can honestly say I have loved it and tried to experience all it has to offer. James and I both agree that we were definitely guided in coming here for my graduate school just shortly after we married. We feel like Boston is the place that our little family was really formed and solidified. So as I say my goodbyes this week to places and people that I love so much, I’m not trying to hide my emotions or tears like I normally would. I’m letting myself tell people how much they’ve meant to me and trying to say goodbye to all the little things that have made me feel at home. I want to feel like I’ve said my goodbyes and at peace with leaving this wonderful place.

Goodbye Boston, we will miss you.